Lesser of Two Evils

Two statements concerning girls have come to my attention:

1. Girls are evil (Girls = evil, mathematically stated, as evidenced below).

and

2. Girls are the lesser ones. (Boys > girls)

So, if girls are evil and are also the lesser ones, doesn’t that make us the lesser of two evils?

Because we have been denied the ability to be more evil than guys.

Which makes us, in effect, the better half of society.

Proved as follows:

It’s common knowledge that mankind is evil. All of them. So if girls are lesser than boys (note…the boys didn’t say lesser what), they also must be a lesser evil. Very simple.

Given:

Girls=evil

and

Boys > girls

we have:

Boys > evil

Which means that boys are more than evil.

Since greater than/less than lines increase in value from left to right, here’s a good/evil line:

(Perfect)(Almost perfect)(Good)(Almost good)(Almost evil)(Evil)(Wicked) (Downright devilish)
<-+————+————-+———–+————+———–+———+———+——>

Girls = evil

and

Boys > girls

So the evil value for boys falls to the right of that for girls…making boys MORE evil than girls.

 

Though willing to work within the framework of two faulty assumptions to make a logical point, I now find it necessary to go back to the root for a more truthful statement:

In that, if girls cost Time x Money, then the equation

girls = Time x Money (and therefore girls = evil)

is false.

It implies that possessing girls equals possessing time x money, which is rather opposite of the truth.

Two other options for the idea that girls cost boys time and money are below:

boys – (Time x Money) = girls

or

girls = -(Time x Money)

with a shortcut from the earlier girls=evil formula we derive:

boys – evil = girls

or

girls = -evil

So we have boys minus evil equals girls, which means that boys are more evil than girls. You must either take evil from the boys to get girls or you must add it to the girls to get boys!

or

We have girls equaling a negative amount of evil, which would imply that girls are equal to less than evil–or have no evil at all!

The previous application (given girls=evil) would be that boys should avoid girls at all costs. A more accurate application turns out to be that girls are actually beneficial in curbing boys’ natural tendency toward evil.

 

 

 

What’s my point? Simply this: most prejudices are based on misunderstanding or logical fallacies. Boys are better than girls is no exception.

 

 

Note: The logic shown in this post is simply the derivative of logic employed by those > I and has no bearing upon my actual sentiments.

Tags: boys, evil, girls, humor, logic, proofs